As much as most parents want to be the primary voice in a child’s life, healthy parents understand that they shouldn’t be the only influence. When parents widen the circle of influence in their children’s lives, they find surprisingly powerful results. Parents who seek out mentors, small group leaders and peer groups who would say the same things that a parent would say discover they have given their children an incredible advantage in learning how to make wise choices. Church leaders can help parents immensely with this through a healthy group structure.

Closing Thought

As a church and as a student ministry, we know that the parental influence doesn’t end after 5^th grade. We know that what happens at home continues to be the most significant influence in a student’s life. No one has more influence on the life of a teenager than a parent. And God seems to be okay with that reality. After all, He arranged us in families.

As a student ministry, we know that we can either compete with parents or cooperate with them. But we believe that by cooperating with parents, we give you and your teenager a chance to succeed that could never happen if a church (or a parent) tried to go it alone.

So if you are going to develop your children’s spiritual and moral character, how exactly do you do it? More specifically, how do you do it when your family schedule is already full? Parents who make spiritual formation a part of everyday life (Deuteronomy 6:7) discover something that works faith and character into the rhythm of our lives.

When you sign up for parenting, you sign up for sacrifice. But there is one thing a parent should never sacrifice. In fact, if you do, you may lose the thing that will ultimately be the most important thing in your child’s life as well as in yours.

Your child needs to see you make relational, emotional and spiritual growth a priority in your life. If it’s not personal for you, it may never be personal for them. In Deuteronomy 6:4, Moses reminds every church leader and parent that we have to commit ourselves what God has given us. Our kids will be deeply influenced by whether it’s personal for us or not.

Rules. Relationships. Families are a mixture of both. Sometimes, though, in the midst of dealing with rules, families can lose the relationship. When you lose the relationship, you can lose your child’s heart.

The more parents fight for the hearts of their children, the stronger the family will become. After all, God is passionate about our hearts. As Deuteronomy 6:5 says, it’s all about a love relationship with God. As parents fight for the hearts of their children, ultimately they’re opening up the way for a child to also pursue a relationship with God, which can lead to obedience. Why? Because we tend to listen most to the people we love most.

No child comes with a manual attached. And as diligent as you are, parenting can be overwhelming. The urgent can overtake the important.

How do you keep your focus on the right things as a parent? Part of it is learning how to ask the right question. More important than “What do I want my child to do?” or “Where do I want my child to go to school?” or even “Who do I want my child to marry?” is this question: “Who do I want my child to become?”

“Who do I want my child to become?” defines the end parents need to bear in mind. It values character over competency, and it inevitably leads parents and children back to the core truth of Deuteronomy 6:4—that the Lord, our God, is one. Nothing . . . nothing is more important than our relationship with our heavenly Father.

This week we will continue our Rhythm series by talking about what has captured our sense of wonder. The truth is that we were all created with a sense of wonder and if the thing that has captivated that wonder in our lives isn’t God, our entire life will be out of rhythm. Take a look at the Parent Cue for some ideas on how you can continue the conversation at home.

Next week I will be posting a short article each day written by Carey Nieuwhof on a specific family value based on Deuteronomy 5:1 and 6:4-7. Have a great weekend and I hope to see your kids at XP3 Sunday!

You might remember I posted about this book when it was first released here and here. I hope you have had a chance to read the book already. Whether you have read it yet or not this will be an awesome group for discussing the ideas and principles the book presents. You will have an opportunity to get your own copy of the book in the class.

Please plan on being here this Wednesday for the first group meeting!