Posts filed under ‘Parenting’
Can’t Keep This To Myself
I came across this entry from Reggie Joiner today and, as a parent and a fan of godly parenting, just couldn’t keep it to myself.
Hug Your Kids Today
This morning I sat through the funeral service of a 15 year old boy who committed suicide earlier this week. I don’t know this boy and I don’t have any idea what was going on in this boy’s life that would cause him to want to die. But as I sat there this morning and watched as his family walked by me I caught a tiny glimpse at the broken pieces that were left behind. I wondered if this boy knew how much these people loved him…when was the last time these parents and brothers and sisters had told this boy with their words and showed him with their actions that they loved him.
I know I’ll go home and work even harder to make sure my daughter knows how much I love her. I’ll tell her how much I love her. I’ll show her how much I love her. I’ll kiss her. And I’ll hug her. And then I’ll do it again…and again.
In The Know
As parents we have to be committed to know what’s going on in our kids’ lives. That’s not always easy. Here are a few suggestions for staying “in the know.”
- Join Facebook and make sure your kids are your friends on Facebook
- Make your house an inviting and welcoming environment for your kids’ friends
- Have real conversations with your kids…show genuine interest and don’t talk down to them or belittle what’s important to them
- Know your kid’s Facebook and/or Myspace username and password…no matter what they say, it’s not an invasion of privacy, it’s parenting
- Visit CPYU often. These guys are students of youth culture and committed to communicating youth culture to parents
What are some other ways you have stayed connected to what is going on in your teens’ lives?
Dads…
I came across this post titled Six Ways Fathers Pursue Christ in their Fatherhood. Please take a few minutes to read it…it’s well worth the time!
How To Ruin Your Kids
I came across this post by Trey Morgan via my friend Brian Hill’s blog. Trey offers some great insight on how to ruin your kids. Click the link and take a look.
MTV Movie Awards
Sunday night my family pulled into our garage after a week’s worth of vacationing. I hauled in the girls’ bags and unpacked my one small bag before plopping on the bed and tuning into MTV’s Movie Awards 2010. I’m not a fan of MTV, but I love teenagers and want to know what’s going on in their world.
The show was shocking to say the least. Let’s just say even the guy with his hand on the “bleep” button must have gotten cramps or blisters or something from pushing the button so much and just given up. A few of the lowest points for me included the use of the “F” word more times than I’ve ever heard before, awards with profanity in the award titles (like “best scared-as-sh** performance” and “best WTF moment”), and girls kissing girls and guys kissing guys (not just innocent kisses on the cheek either). So why would I choose to write about this here?
BECAUSE YOUR KIDS ARE WATCHING THIS STUFF!!!
It’s not because you’re doing a horrible job as a parent. It’s because they are kids and this is the stuff kids watch. And if your kids aren’t watching it, their friends are. Trust me, they are deeply, deeply influenced by what happens at the MTV Movie Awards. These actors, actresses, and musicians are investing in the lives of your kids by what they say and do on screen, at an awards show, on television, on the radio, in magazines, and on the internet. They are creating trends, defining culture, and shaping worldviews. I don’t know about you, but this terrifies me as a parent!
There’s nothing I can do about what MTV airs. There’s nothing I can do about what celebrities say or do. What I can do is make sure that I’m investing more into the life of my daughter than they are. I’m not talking about monetary investments or providing every day needs. I’m not talking about providing opportunities for my daughter to be the best athlete or musician.
I am talking about pouring into my daughter’s life every day what God is pouring into my life. That takes time…both quality and quantity. That takes energy…whether I have the energy or not. That takes sacrifice. That takes discipline…I can’t pour into her life if I haven’t allowed God to pour into my life. That takes commitment.
MTV has already made the commitment to shape our teenagers’ lives. Parents, we need to be aware of this. It’s not hard to see the evidence. Just take a look at your kid’s Facebook page (and your kid DOES have a Facebook page). If you don’t have your own Facebook yet, create one…TODAY. Watch the conversations that take place between your kids and their friends on Facebook. Study the information pages. If you’re not familiar with the music they are listening to, get online and listen to it.
WAIT!!! Whatever you do, don’t get mad and ground your kid for the next 6 months after you take a look. They will just “unfriend” you and go on about their life. And don’t live in denial that your kid is exposed to and influenced by the world around them. Dialogue with your kids about music, conversations, their friends, and the MTV Movie Awards. Bring everything back to the truth…what does God teach us in His Word about this?
It can be a daunting task even for the most seasoned parent. I’m not an expert. My daughter doesn’t even know what MTV is yet. I’m going to screw up, fall on my face, say the wrong thing, and make her mad at me. But I will never give up or give in. And neither should you.
My next few blog posts will include some ideas, suggestions, resources, and tools for you to keep up with what is going on in the life of your teenager and how you approach those issues.
How?
One of my favorite things about my job is that I get to help you as parents and your teens by providing resources and encouragement as you pursue your daily walk with God and as you provide leadership and discipleship for your teens as they pursue their daily walk with God. (I think that’s the longest sentence I’ve ever typed)
Last night I blogged about our teaching on this season of Lent. We discussed the “why” that drives our desire for intentional and focussed spiritual growth…especially during this season. A huge part of my job is to communicate the “why” and encourage you and your students to internalize the why in your own lives. But another huge part of my job is to help with the “how.”
How do you grow spiritually? How do you spend intentional and intensely focussed time deepening your relationship with God?
The “how” can’t and won’t happen exclusively during an hour of Sunday School, an hour of worship, and an hour of Wednesday Bible study. Hopefully 3 hours will be a catalyst for the other 165 hours of your week. That’s why we have provided some free resources to help you and your teens in your daily walk. We are continually working to create and/or purchase more resources, but I wanted to let you know about some that are available right now. The following are available in the E3 youth room:
- Prayer journals
- Daily quiet time books
- Bible study guides through individual books of the Bible
- “Essentials” Bible study guide for juniors and senior
- “Walk with Jesus” daily Bible reading guides
- Small group student books that cover the small group lessons
- Bibles for anybody who needs one
- A prayer room that provides a quiet place for personal prayer and meditation
Besides these resources there are magazines available in the church office and shelves of resources available in the church library. (Later this month I will be posting a recommended reading list for parents and teens from the books available in our library). There are also unlimited resources available online. Obviously I can’t control everything published on the internet so I don’t (nor does FBC) endorse all resources that you might come across while surfing the web. However, I will let you know via this blog about many that I do recommend.
Ultimately the “how” of deepening our personal walk with Jesus happens only as we intentionally work on it (we don’t accidently grow closer to God). That’s why I try to teach and encourage our students to practice spiritual disciplines…things like personal Bible study, journaling, prayer, fasting, meditation, silence and solitude, personal worship, corporate worship, serving, and giving sacrificially.
I hope you will commit to spend some very intentional and focussed time working on your relationship with God…always, but especially during this season of Lent. And I hope you will encourage and challenge your teens to do the same thing.
I’m Surrounded
A couple of hours ago as I was getting Isabel ready for bed I started looking around the bathroom. Isabel was wearing a pink bathrobe. I was drying her hair with a pink blow dryer. We were surrounded by pink towels, pink candles, pink soap dispensers, and pink curtains. We walked into her bedroom. The walls are pink. The bedding is pink. Many of the toys are pink. I was totally surrounded by pink. This has been my life for the past 4 1/2 years…and I love it!
I thought about the lunch date we had earlier today. I took her for her first hibachi experience. She wasn’t a big fan of the flames shooting off the surface of the grill. But it was fun…and we got to experience it together. And we got to talk about stuff. What happened at preschool today, what her favorite candy is, how sometimes she likes cabbage and sometimes she doesn’t. We covered lots things that are so very important in the life of a 4 year old girl. I thought about all the daddy/daughter days and dates we’ve had since she was just a few months old.
There are studies out that shows that the relationship between a child and a parent when the child is an infant, toddler, and preschooler will basically shape the relationship when the child is a teenager. We have tried hard to make sure that Isabel knows she can always come to us for anything and talk to us about anything. Our prayer is that 10 years from now when the things that are the most important to her include boys and friends and fears and doubts instead of dolls and candy…that then we will be able to talk just as openly about those things as we do now. And that I will still be able to go out on daddy/daughter dates!
Dads…What are you doing to strengthen your relationship with your daughters?
What’s The Deal With Guys?
I read a lot of articles every day. This one caught and captured my attention as this is an issue I deal with every day. It’s worth sharing because I know it’s an issue many of you deal with every day as well. Take a look at the article here and let me know your thoughts.
what are you breathing into your kids?
A question I have to stop to ask myself often: “What am I breathing into the life of my daughter?”
I think a lot of parents (myself included) don’t really think that we are constantly breathing into the lives of our children…CONSTANTLY! If this is the case (and it is…I don’t care if you are with your kids 24/7 or only see them every other weekend) we need to know what we are breathing into their lives.
This one hurts sometimes…because we’re breathing either life or death. There’s no inbetween.
Ways to breathe life into our children: Scripture…memorize it with your kids, read it together, use it for correction and discipline, stay in it, live it (Psalm 119:105). Prayer…for your children (everyday), with your children (everyday) (1 Thessalonians 5:17). Encouragement…use words to encourage your children every day, encourage your spouse (Ephesians 4:29). Time…eat meals together, play together, make sure your kids know they are more important to you than work, chores, other people, television, sports…(Psalm 127:3). These are just a few that I try to focus on (and I know it’s not easy all the time). What other ways do you breathe life into your children? (please share in the comments)
Conversely there are ways to breathe death into our children (remember, there is no inbetween…if its not life, its death). Ways we do this include living our lives daily apart from scripture and apart from a daily walk with Jesus, using harsh words, communicating that other things (like television, work, etc.) are more important than our children (and we DO communicate this with our actions), not disciplining and correcting our children, thinking the best thing we can do for our kids is buy them more stuff, and not being active and involved with the ministry of a church. I’m sure there are others as well.
So, are you breathing life or death into your kids today?
